Facebook Faux Pas

Awhile ago I wrote an article called "How to Tell You're Addicted to Facebook."  The article is long gone, but it's time to update it with a part two - How to Act on Facebook.  I've seen a rash of Facebook faux pas lately, so I'll take a moment here to list a few.  If you see any you may have committed, well damn.
Things we should never see on Facebook

1. During labor pics.  Yes, people take pictures of themselves giving birth.  Not the before, not the after, but the during.  The miracle of life is a wonderful thing, but if I really want to see it, I'll sit in on a high school health class or check out Spike Lee's Mo' Better Blues.  I'd rather not see your baby's crowning head pop up in my news feed.
2. Shirtless/underwear pics.  Unless you are an underwear model or trying to be discovered, I can do without seeing your nips.  You can make a special folder for those, call it "audition pics", put all your photos in there like an online portfolio.  It'll be great. Try that out.  And speaking of underwear...
3. I better not EVER see any pics of you with none on.  Enough said.
4. Questionable status updates.  I don't care if you're horny, or you just took a nasty dump, or if you've got a uti/bladder/staph infection, or if your pus-filled big toenail just fell off.  I don't want to damn know.  What do you want me to say about it?  "You're horny?  Here's some lotion and a roll of paper towels.  Knock yourself out." Or "oh you've got an infection? I have an extra penicillin prescription!  Care for one?"
5. You getting mad about people being in your business, when you put ALL YOUR BUSINESS in your status updates.  "How did you know I just got off probation for slashing Lisa's tires?"  Ummm, you put when you were stalking Lisa, how you found Lisa's address, how the GPS gave you bad directions to Lisa's house, and finally when you figured out the dull blade wouldn't cut the rubber on the tread.  You don't want me to know?  Quit telling me.

I know Facebook is about speaking your mind and all, but I don't think your itchy rash is exactly what our forefathers had in mind when they talked about free speech.  I also have the right to hide, remove, block, or simply ignore you.  And I do that too.  But do all of us a favor -  remember if you don't want to see it about me, I probably don't want to see it about you.