June 3rd, 2011

I've been falling behind on my blogs so I'll try to catch up.  I am feeling some kind of way right now...not sure how to describe the emotion.  Maybe it's easier to sum it up in one word. Old.  I feel old.  My eldest niece graduated from high school last night.  My husband and I reminisced about when she was two and loved to watch Bill Nye the Science Guy; when she got older and first got her braces; how excited she was when she got them taken off to reveal a bright and beautiful smile.  She's not the first youngster in my life to don her cap and gown and move on up to the collegiate world, but for some reason hers hit home.  Hard.  It could be because I distinctly remember her at two, running around the house, pigtails and hairballs swinging with every happy step.  This is a child I'd see often; a kid that seemed to morph into an adult overnight.  And now I look at my own children, sprouting up like weeds on Miracle Gro, and I feel so very old.  When did I grow up?  When did I become this somewhat responsible adult?  When did I lose track of time? I need time to slow down a bit.  Yes, my kids drive me nuts, but I will miss these days when they graduate and leave the nest as my niece is about to do.

Why waste time

I've been pretty busy this week, so here's yesterday's stew. I'll post today's tomorrow. Confused yet? ;)

Last night I sat in as a guest critic for an architectural drafting class. My job was to review students' final projects and make sure they followed the directions, did the research, and could explain why they did what they did. The class was moving along when this arrogant jerk got up and basically tried to half ass his way through his presentation. And when we asked him to explain why his project didn't meet the requirements or make sense, he made excuses, then told us we didn't know what we were talking about. I couldn't help but wonder why he was there. I mean, if you don't listen, you don't do work, you don't care, then why bother? College isn't for everyone. Orr maybe this program isn't for him. Either way, it was 45 minutes of my life his aimless, cocky ramblings robbed me of. So I asked him. "Why are you in school? Obviously, you already know everything, so why waste everyone's time?" The guy actually didn't have an answer for that one. Shocking.

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Tick Tock

Some people have a biological clock constantly ticking away the seconds left to get married/start a family/grasp the life they imagined. Mine is counting down the time I have to make a move. I think I've been pretty clear about my feelings on the current stagnant state of my work/creative life. And while I'm not sure what the next step is, I won't make it anywhere standing still. Change, by nature, is scary. I'm a thinker, so to talk myself out of doing I can stack up the "what if's" higher than Mt. Everest. But then what? What happens when I look up, 30 years are gone, and I'm reflecting on what could have been? True, life isn't defined by a job or a location, but what you do with it. But if I'm not doing, am I living? It's time to stop contemplating everything and take a step out on faith. The only way I'll ever know is to just do it. Wish me luck!

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